A friend was asking about how to read the Bible without the lens of legalism which is a great question!! I know that when I am feeling sanctimonious I do just that, read the scriptures as rules. Ugh! It's a process. I do believe that the scriptures have a high calling to those who believe but not in a legalistic way.
Before diving in too much I want to share some good prerequisites that I have found:
Begin and continue the necessary interior work needed to overcome the natural tendency towards self-condemnation and shame. And keep it up, we don't arrive at healing in these avenues although focus will move.
Understand that God is always FOR you even though we sin and get things wrong. This is big part of the Gospel. God is not disappointed or surprised by anything about you. You are a unique creation that They delight in and always have. Scriptural admonitions sometimes have specific context that the Spirit and tradition have revealed as not applicable. Trust the Spirit within you. This isn't dismissing them its reading in our time not theirs. All of the commands were meant for the good of those who were given them. Always remember that though demanding in heart, Jesus' burden is light. The Scriptures mention an Accuser and that is not from God.
Practice inclusion before exclusion, it is not our call to ever say who or if anyone is excluded, Particularly yourself!!
Don't go it alone! We are created for community. We are never truly alone anyway, that is a myth we believe. Friends can speak truth to us when shame is taking root! Solitude is healthy as well, trust the lover of your soul.
Reach out for good spiritual directors or pastors that you trust who have been on the journey a bit longer.
Trust your heart, gut and the Spirit within. As Jesus said "My sheep hear my voice." and "Don't be afraid".
God is a God of covenants. These covenants, particularly with Israel have consequences when rebelled against, such as being given over to idolatry, captivity and exile. Remember nothing is permanent and these consequences can be a wake up call. Think of the alcoholic who has hit bottom. I highly recommend reading The Day the Revolution Began by N.T. Wright . He has wonderful insight as a scholar into the covenants. The New Covenant in Jesus fulfills for us and the whole world all the righteous requirements of the Old Covenant. Too often we see the old as a list of rules rather than the heart of it which is to love God (avoid idolatry) and to love your neighbor as yourself (Do unto others...). God is not a cosmic bookkeeper watching what we do to the most minute detail to see if we fail so They can say "gotcha" and then condemn us! God wants us to realize that there is no God but God and to put our trust in Them.
God is also the God of the heart. A heart that They want to make tender to ourselves and to everyone we see and interact with, even the ones we perceive as undeserving. So how do we read the Scriptures apart from legalism? Remember that God fulfills the covenants and God is working on our hearts. Humanity has been forever identified with Jesus. God became human and that was not temporary. God is also NOT the scriptures but point to God. I am thankful that the tradition of the Episcopal/Anglican branch is not Scripture alone but rather scripture, tradition and reason but that even has a lack to it it; I would add an awareness of the unconditional love of God towards the creation and that love is special towards humankind. God is love.
A focus on Jesus is always helpful as He is the"image of the invisible God". Jesus gives a very high calling and this can be hard. But his demands are only a burden to our plans when we idolize our lives. Focus on the self as and isolated individual can lead to condemnation that isn't from God. The Spirit always convicts and encourages us to trust in Their love and the soft heart God is forming. Knowing our sin and shortcomings is important to remember our need. It is not healthy to be a sole focus but an aspect of the journey. All is grace. Jesus is demanding but only has condemnation for those who are right in their own eyes. (we are all guilty, grace is still present!) This is a contradiction to our opinion based culture. We don't like to ever think we are in the wrong, we still get it wrong and only the narcissist doesn't see this reality. So it sounds like I am making it more legalistic but bear with me!
Embrace your humanity, frailty and need. We cannot do the good things solely on our own. All we do is with God's help. I am speaking to believers. There is definitely good that is done in this world, my POV is that the Spirit works within us all with or without acknowledgment. I do not deny the good being done in the world by those who believe differently or not at all. That is God's business on the details. I believe the Spirit has been poured out on all flesh as the scriptures say.
When we are comfortable in knowing who we are and who God says we are, His children I recommend diving into a daily reading such as the Daily Office or the Bible in One Year. by reading more than just what we like we can enjoy the challenge of 'not getting it'; it is a good thing to acknowledge our lack of understanding.
So, embrace your humanity, frailty and need. Know that God never rejects those who seek God with a humble heart. Making amends will become natural as you are God's child and the work within is God's work that we get to participate in. Remember that the scriptures are meant as an encouragement to the faithful. God is for you, with you and in you. Look to Jesus who forgives even those who tortured and publicly disgraced and executed him in front of his mother. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.
Always remember that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself and that the Holy Spirit dwells within. The first Scriptures are in nature. Listen God rarely shouts but is still speaking. And please don't forget you are infinitely loved.